Mouse has re-located his Burrow to sunny(!) south London, and now works for a large teaching outpost of the NHS Federation.
Someone once told me that different does not necessarily mean better, or indeed worse; just different. Well, this place is certainly different...
I'm still trying to understand the differences, and to decide if they are good or bad, but my manager pulled me into the office today to "touch base" about how I'm finding things. She basically wanted to know if things are better or worse - I threw her the line about different meaning just that. Didn't seem to go down too well, so I threw her a line the likes of "well, I'm still settling in, once I'm running my own lists, I'll be able to give a better idea, etc, etc..." I think I've just delayed the inevitable until new year. Ah, well.
Inbetween times, myself and Faith Walker have been trying to out-do each other with illness: you can read her blog for details on her life - for me, I picked up a delightful strain of the Flu, that has been busy working its way around my body. Wednesday last week, I was sent home at about 1200 because I nearly collapsed in holding bay. Finally finished the 20 minute walk home at about 1500, collapsed in the bath, and fell asleep (still in bath). Woke up to find (surprise!) I had a fever of 39 degrees - not good - and could no longer use my nose. On Thursday, the bug went south to my stomach, and I was sick the whole day. Friday, I went back to work, with the little bugger lodged firmly in my throat, so I couldn't talk (no real loss to society there then). Over the weekend, it migrated into my sinus', which was painful and annoying, and coupled with the slowly returning voice, made me sound like a dirty old man. Nice! Today, I felt fine, until I got home and had a small pyrotechnic device let off in my ear. That's what it felt like, anyway - my Eustachian tube (the one that runs from behind your eardrum to your nose) has blocked off: as a result, I can no longer equalise the pressure in my right ear, which is even more painful than the sinus, and is the reason that I have a wad of cotton wool poking out of it.
On the positive side, I did manage to find time to be sympathetic to Faith's medical woes, laugh at her a bit, and still care for a couple of patients.
Monday, 24 December 2007
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Mouse is leaving his comfy burrow for the bright lights and big smells of the City. Having been very discrete about telling his co-workers (Megaphone, rooftop), he decides to lighten the mood with a few jokes...
A few doctors go out on a duck hunt together... each has their rifle and is looking to bag a prize bird
The first duck goes flying past, and the GP lines up to shoot it down. He thinks it's a duck, but wants to ask a specialist just to be sure
The psychiatrist looks up and thinks, "I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck???"
The surgeon looks up, shoots the duck and turns to the pathologist and says, "Be a sport, go over and tell me if that was a duck"
Two doctors are at a conference eyeing each other up... eventually they pluck up the courage to talk to each other and agree to go out on a date... They have a wonderful dinner and end up back in the hotel suite... One thing leads to another as things often do, and they end up in bed. After the love making is finished, he looks at her and says
"Can I ask you a questions?"
"Yes" she replies
He asks, "Are you a surgeon?"
She says "How did you know"
"It's because you're always washing your hands" he notes
Then she asks "Are you an anaesthetist?"
He replies "Yes, how did you guess???"
She bluntly says "Because I didn't feel a f**king thing"
(Thanks to Faith Walker for that one)
A GP, an anaesthetist and a surgeon all die in a plane crash, on arriving at the pearly gates, St Peter informs them that they must justify their lives to God in order to enter heaven:
GP: Well God, I've lived a humble life serving my local community, making their lives better to the best of my ability and been at their beck and call 24/7 for the last 30 years
God: You have lived a good life, come sit beside me
Anaesthetist: God, I've spent my whole life easing people's pain and saving those who no one thought could be saved.
God: Indeed you have, come sit beside me. Now you (points to the surgeon), what do you have to say?
Surgeon: You're in my seat
A few doctors go out on a duck hunt together... each has their rifle and is looking to bag a prize bird
The first duck goes flying past, and the GP lines up to shoot it down. He thinks it's a duck, but wants to ask a specialist just to be sure
The psychiatrist looks up and thinks, "I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck???"
The surgeon looks up, shoots the duck and turns to the pathologist and says, "Be a sport, go over and tell me if that was a duck"
Two doctors are at a conference eyeing each other up... eventually they pluck up the courage to talk to each other and agree to go out on a date... They have a wonderful dinner and end up back in the hotel suite... One thing leads to another as things often do, and they end up in bed. After the love making is finished, he looks at her and says
"Can I ask you a questions?"
"Yes" she replies
He asks, "Are you a surgeon?"
She says "How did you know"
"It's because you're always washing your hands" he notes
Then she asks "Are you an anaesthetist?"
He replies "Yes, how did you guess???"
She bluntly says "Because I didn't feel a f**king thing"
(Thanks to Faith Walker for that one)
A GP, an anaesthetist and a surgeon all die in a plane crash, on arriving at the pearly gates, St Peter informs them that they must justify their lives to God in order to enter heaven:
GP: Well God, I've lived a humble life serving my local community, making their lives better to the best of my ability and been at their beck and call 24/7 for the last 30 years
God: You have lived a good life, come sit beside me
Anaesthetist: God, I've spent my whole life easing people's pain and saving those who no one thought could be saved.
God: Indeed you have, come sit beside me. Now you (points to the surgeon), what do you have to say?
Surgeon: You're in my seat
Thursday, 25 October 2007
Hamsters and Anaesthetists
Anaesthetists are just like hamsters. Bear with me on this one.
Hamsters are (generally) cute, fuzzy, quite funny to watch, and make amazing companions for small children. The same goes for Anaesthetists. The most telling point, however, is that - as those of you with hamsters will know - if you put a jam-jar on it's side in a hamster cage, the animal will instinctively use it as a toilet, thus saving you hassle in cleaning the bleddy thing out.
Once again, you can use the same principle for your anaesthetist. If you leave an inco-pad out on the work-surface, most of them will use it for preparing drugs on, rather than spreading out over the entire side of the room. The bonus is; it also makes cleaning down easier!
Downsides: there's always one b@$t@rd who will be stood right by the bin, and still throw his cr@p down the bench, rather than in the bin. Also, I work for an old boy who, rather than using my 'work-inco' for it's intended purpose, and simply stuffed it down his pants...
Hamsters are (generally) cute, fuzzy, quite funny to watch, and make amazing companions for small children. The same goes for Anaesthetists. The most telling point, however, is that - as those of you with hamsters will know - if you put a jam-jar on it's side in a hamster cage, the animal will instinctively use it as a toilet, thus saving you hassle in cleaning the bleddy thing out.
Once again, you can use the same principle for your anaesthetist. If you leave an inco-pad out on the work-surface, most of them will use it for preparing drugs on, rather than spreading out over the entire side of the room. The bonus is; it also makes cleaning down easier!
Downsides: there's always one b@$t@rd who will be stood right by the bin, and still throw his cr@p down the bench, rather than in the bin. Also, I work for an old boy who, rather than using my 'work-inco' for it's intended purpose, and simply stuffed it down his pants...
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
Gripes
Just a quickie today, folks. Mouse is getting mighty pissed off that his seniors seem to think that it's OK to change his roster at 5 minutes notice, and to assume that he doesn't mind being sent across sites without warning.
Hey ho: at least i actually got to do a major case today (whoop); and had another work experience student to shepherd [at least this one was interested, asked questions, and took notes...]
Hey ho: at least i actually got to do a major case today (whoop); and had another work experience student to shepherd [at least this one was interested, asked questions, and took notes...]
Monday, 24 September 2007
Work
Today, I had possibly the lightest workload ever - a young child for an ear op (anaesthetic time, 10 mins, surgical time, 2 mins); and an adult for a nose job (anaesthetic time 12 mins, surgical time 4 mins). Great! Then, I looked at the afternoon list: Kidney stones. Time to pull out all the toys - this one's gonna be fun...
Now, Mouse happens to work at one of the many NHS trusts that have two (or more) hospital sites - guess who got tapped to go over to the other site to cover a short list? You guessed it. So, this afternoon was spent holding the hands of two old ducks with no pain threshold whatsoever, while they had pain nerves killed. Joyous(!)
Nearly home now, after fighting motorway traffic, and the phone gos. The boss has shifted me back to the other site tomorrow, because one of Mouse's colleagues is ill - there gos the lay in. Bugger.
Ah, well - on holiday soon, and interview in a week.
Now, Mouse happens to work at one of the many NHS trusts that have two (or more) hospital sites - guess who got tapped to go over to the other site to cover a short list? You guessed it. So, this afternoon was spent holding the hands of two old ducks with no pain threshold whatsoever, while they had pain nerves killed. Joyous(!)
Nearly home now, after fighting motorway traffic, and the phone gos. The boss has shifted me back to the other site tomorrow, because one of Mouse's colleagues is ill - there gos the lay in. Bugger.
Ah, well - on holiday soon, and interview in a week.
Friday, 21 September 2007
Post the first
OK, so, friends of mine have been have been saying for a while that I should write a blog from the inside of fortress NHS.
Today, the really slow gynaecologist managed to finish his 5 hour operating list (2 patients) in 3 hours - woo-hoo! Then, the bad news. His colleague had booked 4 hours of operating for a 3 hour list: a 1 hour case, and a 3 hour case; starting with the 1 hour. This patient phoned in, saying she'd eaten that morning (no anaesthetic for you, then). The Surgeon, Mr X (so he shall be called), told her to come in anyway - "She can't be cancelled, it's urgent!" My anaesthetist says: "Tough, it's not safe to operate until 5, and I finish then - not staying!"
Anyway, needless to say, Mr X then proceeded to take the full 3 hours to complete a relatively uncomplicated operation. Meh, at least I managed to teach a student about N2O, do some stocking up, and the Times crossword (easy one, I'm afraid).
Finally, today, a question of etiquette - Mouse has an interview coming up, and hasn't told work. He has also told the interviewing hospital not to seek a reference until after the interview. When do I tell them?
Today, the really slow gynaecologist managed to finish his 5 hour operating list (2 patients) in 3 hours - woo-hoo! Then, the bad news. His colleague had booked 4 hours of operating for a 3 hour list: a 1 hour case, and a 3 hour case; starting with the 1 hour. This patient phoned in, saying she'd eaten that morning (no anaesthetic for you, then). The Surgeon, Mr X (so he shall be called), told her to come in anyway - "She can't be cancelled, it's urgent!" My anaesthetist says: "Tough, it's not safe to operate until 5, and I finish then - not staying!"
Anyway, needless to say, Mr X then proceeded to take the full 3 hours to complete a relatively uncomplicated operation. Meh, at least I managed to teach a student about N2O, do some stocking up, and the Times crossword (easy one, I'm afraid).
Finally, today, a question of etiquette - Mouse has an interview coming up, and hasn't told work. He has also told the interviewing hospital not to seek a reference until after the interview. When do I tell them?
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